I understand Love
by SGAmvmm
Summary: This is after the season finale. There are some spoilers. This is just for fun. I love Jack Davenport as Derek Wills and Katharine Mcphee as Karen Cartwright in Smash. There will be my own version of Derek's past.
1. Chapter 1

_SMASH_

_After the finale of season 1. There are some spoilers.. I took some part of the last episode but the rest is what I just imagine.. This is really my first time to write a fanfic story. Sorry for my mistakes._

_I don't own anything. I just write this for fun. And I really like Derek wills and by the way I will not let Ivy drink those pills.. I just want to really focus on Derek and some Karen story._

* * *

**I Understand Love**

**Chapter 1  
**

"Whatever happens next, don't ever doubt you're a star. And I do understand love" Derek said to Karen before she went for the final song.

_I made the right choice. Karen is right to be Marilyn, she's perfect. There is really something that Ivy doesn't have that Karen have. _Derek thought to himself while at the side watching Karen sing 'Don't forget me'. Everytime she sings the line "singing Happy Birthday to somebody you love," Derek recalled their couch casting. _I will never forget that time, that is the time she really strike me and know that she have a great potential. Since then, I've been trying to push her in becoming a star. I've been really bad at her but I know she needed that. Now look at her she's a STAR._

Karen's performance was magnificent. There was a standing ovation. Eileen, Nick, Lyle, Tom, and Julia were looking to each other with all big smiles on their faces and joined the audience in giving a round of applause to the cast. From the start Eileen, Tom and Julia doubted Derek's choice on who would play Marilyn, they knew that the obvious choice was Ivy but Derek decided that it should be Karen. They are dumbfounded of the outcome of the show. The show was amazing, Karen's performance was magnificent and she was truly a great Marilyn.

Eileen remembered what Derek said to her during their confrontation earlier , "I HATE collaborating. Alright? I HATE it. I am an artist and a storyteller and this is my vision, and NO ONE is gonna get in my way. If you want a hit, then BE QUIET and I will give you one, and afterwards you can say THANK YOU."

Eileen thought to herself, _I should Thank Derek, I know he'll say that he is right and that no one should have tried to change his choice. But damn that director, I have known him for a long time but I'm still surprise on how he behaved a while ago. I'm his boss and friend but he dismissed it, he just confronted me on what he wants and no one can stop him. But I should give him a break for his earlier behavior, because the outcome iwas great, and I just wish I have seen Jerry's face. No doubt he'll be regretting that he doubted her.  
_

After the show, everyone celebrated and went to the hotel bar. Despite of what the problems they had, 'Bombshell' was a success. Almost everyone were celebrating except for Karen.

Karen was happy for the show, but after it was finished she couldn't stop thinking of what happen to her and Dev. She couldn't believe of what happened between Dev and Ivy. _I just can't believe it, I have been trying my best to keep our relationship but Dev ruined it, HE SLEPT WITH IVY. And Ivy just admit it by giving me Dev's ring during the chaos in the show. I know she did it in purpose to mess with my head. She almost succeeded in doing so but Derek helped me to turn things around. For all the people that I expected to support me, I never thought of Derek. He still creeps me out but there are times that he showed that there is some other side of him that I would like to see more. Ahhhh. I should stop thinking about Derek its Dev that I should worry about. But I can't seem to forget the things Derek said to me during the show. He understand love. There was something in what he said, and part of me what to know how he understand love. Does the Dark Lord really understand love? I have never seen that Derek truly loves Ivy, is there someone else? Okay Karen stop thinking about him. _Karen snapped out of her daze and looked around at the rest cast all drinking and singing, everyone congratulated Karen for her great performance. Karen gave them fake smiles, she couldn't seem to feel truly happy for their success.

It's not just Karen that was not celebrating with everyone. At the corner of the bar, Derek was drinking by himself and thinking about someone.

And that someone was Karen.

* * *

_***I hope I'm doing something good on this story. I just can't sleep without writing something about Derek and Karen after watching the finale. I just wish we won't wait for 9 months to see season 2. ****_


	2. Chapter 2

_* *thank you for the people who reviewed and added my story to their favorite list and story alerts. I really appreciate it. Hope you review more. So that I'll know if I'm doing right.**_

_**I said to some people that I don't know if I'll continue this but decided to write another chapter while I have time to think and wrtite.. Sorry for my mistakes to this story.. Hope you will appreciate this story.**_

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**Chapter 2**

Seeing everyone happy for their success after the frantic work they had to endure to workout the problems on Marilyn, the songs, the costumes even the lightings to make this preview a success, didn't make him feel to join the celebration. _I should be happy but I couldn't. Seeing her not celebrating for her success tonight, seems to be the right not to be happy too. Why does my mind keep repeating our moments together this day. It is a long tiring day and I want it to end. Tomorrow is another day to face new problems, and this is still just a preview, this will be just the beginning of the bumpy road to Broadway. I can handle it because I'm Derek Wills a brilliant director… but not so brilliant when it comes to relationships. After the show, Ivy doesn't want to get near me. Bloody hell, this always happen to me. Every time I get too close to someone, the end will always going to be bad. No time on regrets now. After what I said to Karen, "I do understand love," hell I didn't really want to say that to her, I was just captured to that moment. I need to stay away from Karen or I'll ruin her too. Nobody can keep up with who Derek Wills is! The narcasssistic bastard who keeps sleeping with his stars. SNAP OUT OF IT! Focus on the show not the people in it especially Karen and myself._ Derek blinked away from his daze and took a sip from his brandy and saw Eileen approaching him.

"Derek, are you alright? You should celebrate with everyone else for our success to the preview. The audience loved it and I loved it." Eileen said and took a seat beside Derek.

"I'm fine Eileen. Don't you see that I'm drinking, this is me celebrating with everyone else." Derek answered back with a snarky tone.

"I just want to say that you made the right choice for our Marilyn, I should not have doubted you."

"Well, YOU had doubted me. Not just you, also Tom and Julia, and maybe the whole cast and staff." Derek answered back.

"Sorry about that. You put a lot of work on this show. Thank you for that. I know that I have given you too much pressure, the next preview will be next week. So, I'll give the cast and crew a day off tomorrow and YOU should have one AND DON'T go to the theater. I know you, you'll rather spend your time working than give yourself a well deserve rest." Eileen gave him a glare that told him, that he should follow what she said.

Seeing Derek in this state, drinking more than usual and dark circles forming under his eyes, really makes a day of rest seems appealing. Derek has spent days and nights to make an amazing show since the workshop in New York till the previews in Boston. Who can blame him? Making a show for broadway really takes time but Eileen wants it on the road immediately so Derek just make the time for it.

"The pressure I can take because I won't be successful if I can't handle the pressure but the person that I really trusted didn't back me up with my decision is the ONE that I CAN'T TAKE." Derek looked away from Eileen after he finished of what he just said. _Okay, Did I just say that to Eileen? The brandy is kicking in, I should go now, Derek Wills never lose control on his emotions._ _This day really have taken a lot from him making him show this kind of behavior._

Eileen seemed to be shock on the outburst of Derek. Before Eileen had a chance to say something, Derek quickly added.

"I should go Eileen, I'll take the day off you want me to get. Bye." Derek immediately stood from his seat and walked away from Eileen. Derek walked towards the door when he bumped into Karen. _For all the people that I might bump into, why should it be her?_

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**I have done a lot of Eileen in the first two chapters because she is the one that have known Derek far much longer than the others.. Eileen and Derek seems to be close friends.. Sorry if there is a lot of mistakes on portraying the characters and having the first 2 chapters short.. In MS word it seems to be longer.. well I'll try to improve it and make it longer.. hmm.. should I continue to this story?**

**Hope you review. Thank you for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

(I don't own anything.. NBC owns the show and the characters.. This is just for fun...)

_Sorry it took me longer to write this.. I have many paperworks including our thesis that I need to work on before school starts.. I can't fix the spaces between paragraphs.. I want to have bigger spaces so its not hard to read but I can't.._

_ I"m still new at this.. Sorry for the email messages for the story.. I'm trying to fix the words, they are all italicized.. This is my third try to fix this.. Bear with me.. Sorry..  
_

_ There so few of Karen here.. Sorry for that.. I will slow things down between Karen and Derek. so It's more on Derek this time.. _

_**Thank you for all of your reviews and the story alerts.****. and to all who read my story.. =)**  
_

_**Special thanks to floatsodelicately for helping me out with this chapter..  
**_

_***The character named Gary is the assistant choreographer of Derek. I don't know his name in smash. (you might be confuse later in this story)..****_

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**Chapter 3**

The bar in the hotel was full of the cast and crew of 'Bombshell'. Everyone was having fun. They didn't see that Karen and Derek have walked away from the celebration. Jessica, Bobby, Dennis, and the rest of the ensemble were all drinking while talking about how great the outcome of the second preview was, Julia was there with her family, Tom and Sam sat at the corner of the bar. Eileen went back to Nick after Derek left her.

Karen didn't see Derek coming to the door and bumped into him. She was lost and just wanted to leave, but bumping to Derek made her feel more lost and vulnerable than she was already. She tried to stop thinking about Derek's efforts throughout the day to keep her in line with the show even though his hands were full, but she couldn't. She thought that by leaving now, she would be able to sleep it off. But here he was standing in front of her. She tried to compose herself and took a deep breath.

"Oh, Sorry Derek. I didn't see you walk by."

_Because I've been trying to clear you out of my head but it didn't help.. Oh, why does fate against me right now?_ Karen thought to herself.

"It's alright Ms. Cartwright. Next time you should look where you going." _Oh God, I'm so stupid. It's not her fault, I'm the one that had too much to drink._

"Oh. Okay Mr. Wills." _This was the second time that I called him that_. She paused slightly, unsure of what to say next. "Go ahead, you go first."

"No, its lady's first." Derek indicated that Karen should go first and opened the door for her, being a gentleman.

"Thank you."

They walked towards the elevator and when they reached it they were the only ones inside.

_Okay, Karen. Being alone with him here is not good. It's like I'm suffocating and the air is hot in here. Okay, I need to say something to him before I collapse._

"Ahmm. Derek. I want to thank you for what you did for me today." Karen twirled her hairs with her fingers, looking embarrassed by what she said.

"Thank you for what?"

"You know what I mean, Derek. I really meant it, 'Thank You.' If it wasn't for you, I would have been a mess today and I would have ruined everything that I have worked for and it wasn't easy for you." She looked straight in Derek's eyes, indicating she really meant it.

"Well, I'm truly a magnificent man by helping you. Am I? Besides I'm just doing my job as a director, and it was EASY for me. I can handle anything." Derek used his sly grin to her, making Karen blush.

_Oh gosh, I love that smile of his_.Karen thought, while she rolled her eyes in his statement.

Derek was on the 14th floor while Karen was on the 13th floor. They remained silent for a while, until Derek's phone rang.

"Hello. Derek here." Derek said to the person in the other line. "Yes, I'm his son. Why are you asking?"

The elevator stopped to Karen's floor. She saw the change in Derek's mood while listening to the person on the phone. She wanted to stay with him, to make sure everything was alright but she couldn't. It wasn't her place to pry. She went out of the elevator and looked back at him. "Bye, Derek. Thanks again."

He didn't answered back and the elevator closed.

* * *

Early morning of the next day, all the cast and crew had a free day, except for one.

Eileen needed to stop by the theater to handle some business with the owner, but as she walked by the stage she saw Derek sitting in one of audience seats. He was so focused on the paper he was holding on to, that he didn't notice Eileen coming towards him.

Eileen asked, "Derek? Are you alright? You seem out of it. And I thought I told you not come here at the theater."

Derek was startled for just a second and answered, "Yeah, I'm fine in spite of having a hangover."

"Ok, so why are you here? I gave everyone a day off including you."

"I need to polish some scenes for the next preview."

"Why don't you do that tomorrow with everyone?"

"I can't. I will not be here tomorrow. I need to go away for a few days." Derek held his hand to stop Eileen for interrupting him. "Let me explain first. I need to attend some personal matters. You know me; I haven't asked anyone for a permission to leave for any personal things when there is work because my real priorities are my work. This is really important. I promise that I will be back. I need to do this."

Eileen, got closer to Derek and sat beside him, she put her arm around Derek's shoulders. "Oh Derek, I know you. Yes, this is the first. You have always given everything in your work that's why you are a brilliant director but we are still not out of the woods yet. I need you here until we finish the previews."

"Eileen, I really need to do this and besides I'll just miss one preview. I'll be back, and I'll work harder. Please, just let me do this first." Derek never begged, but this time, Eileen saw the pleading green eyes of his, so she had gave in.

"Okay, just one preview. You know that I'm not just your boss, I'm also your friend, you can tell me on what is bothering you, and I will try to help."

"Yes. I know you are. Don't worry I can handle this. I'll be leaving tonight. Before I leave, I want everyone to come back here so I can work on some slight changes. Tomorrow they can rest." Derek's anguished look turned serious.

"Ok, I'll call them back."

* * *

An hour later, everyone was back on theater, all looking disappointed after disturbing on their free day.

Derek took center-stage as everyone took their seats. "Okay, everyone settle down."

Linda stood beside Derek and said, "Everyone is here, Derek."

"Thanks Linda."

"Ok, I know I ruined your well deserved rest today after our success in last night's preview, so tomorrow you'll get it. We still need to do better so I just want to run through the scenes again and make some slight changes." Derek announced to everyone. "Take your positions!"

Karen and the ensemble took their positions and started their routine. Derek snapped a lot, making Karen felt uncomfortable.

"Concentrate please!." Derek snapped again this time, it was meant for Karen.

"Sorry." Karen felt her face blushed. _Derek seems more irritable than ever. What made him change? He said that I did great yesterday but now, it seems I had gone back to my callback. OK, take a deep breath, Derek has some issues so don't be affected by him. I really preferred Derek from yesterday than Derek today. _Karen snapped out of her daze and went back to work with a determined face.

* * *

As hours went by, everyone was really exhausted. Derek was really strict today and polished everything. Tom, Julia and Eileen were seated on the middle row, watching Derek work on The National Pastime number.

"Ok, is it just me or does it seems like Derek grew another horn on his head?" Tom said to Julia and Eileen.

"Come on Tom, stop that. He just wants the show to be perfect." Julia slightly slapped Tom's shoulders.

"He just wanted for everyone to be great for the next preview." Eileen added.

"Ok, I can see that. Why do it now? He could have done it tomorrow. He is just pure evil, he WANTED to get everyone miserable like him. I should have been on a date with Sam today but nooo, Derek wants everyone back to theater…. And-" Tom answered back with a pout but before he finished his outburst about Derek, Eileen interrupted him.

"Tom, it's not that. He wants us to be prepared before he leaves tonight."

Tom stood up and almost screamed. "LEAVE? He's gonna leave us tonight? He is the DIRECTOR! We need him in the previews! I know we were great last night, but it doesn't mean we won't have any problems. That arrogant, selfish director doesn't have the right to leave us!"

"Tom, stop it! He will just miss the next preview not ALL the previews. So calm down." Eileen snapped at Tom.

"Sorry. I thought he was leaving us for good. So where will he go and why does he need to leave now while he's working on Marilyn?" Tom quietened down his reply and took his seat again.

"Good question. I haven't asked him where he needs to go and he said that the reason was personal. He didn't elaborate more."

"Well, after he tortured everyone let's go talk to him, and I don't know any personal things that are important to him aside from his work or anything related to his work according to what I know from our past. His life is his work." Tom tried to think about what Derek's reason could be.

They returned on watching Derek, and waited for him to finish.

* * *

Finally, after five hours of hell, everyone was relieved that they were done.

"Ok, we are done! Thanks everyone. You can rest now. Remember everything we practiced today and do it in the next preview. Before the preview, Gary will take over for me, so that he can practice everything we have done today. I will not be here for the next preview, even if I'm not here, I expect everyone to be great. You can all go now." Derek announced to everyone.

A lot of people were surprised that he would not be there for the next preview. Jesicca, Dennis and Bobby started to gossip to each other about the Dark Lord's resons for leaving while they were exiting the stage.

Everyone was gone, except for the three. Tom, Julia and Eileen went up to the stage to talk to Derek.

"Derek, we need to talk." Tom quickly said when they got near Derek.

"Ok, what is it this time, Tom?" Derek shot back, clearly annoyed with Tom. He turned to face Tom but was surprised that Eileen and Julia were with him.

"Derek, you haven't told me where are you going tonight and you clearly didn't tell me your reason except that is personal." Eileen spoke first before Tom got his chance.

Derek nearly shouted to the three people in front of him. "Well, it would not be personal if I told you! So I'll just tell you where I'm going. I just need to go back in London. That's it! OK! Stop prying in my private life it's not about business so stop!" Derek was already exhausted and the confrontation was not helping his mood.

This time it was Julia who talked back to Derek with a calmer tone. "Ok, Derek, we will stop and we are sorry. We are just surprised that you're leaving without telling us the reason. You are our director, and we are grateful for all your efforts; you did an amazing job on this show. We care not only about the show; we also care for the people in it. You are part of it. So do what you have to do, we will wait for you to come back."

Derek took a deep breath and answered with his neutral tone. "Thank you, JULIA for being the reasonable one."

"Hey! We were just curious! You don't have to hate on us or shout." Tom answered with an annoyed and playful tone in attempt to relieve any tension between them.

"It's too late for that Tom." Derek answered back with the raise of an eyebrow.

"Ok, I hate you too Derek." Tom said, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry Derek, I really was just trying to understand on how to help you." Eileen added.

"It's alright, Eileen. So we are finished here. Right?"

"Yes, we are. Have a safe flight. Call us when you land there." Eileen answered back.

"Bye Derek." Julia started to walked away with Tom beside her. Tom just waved goodbye to Derek.

Derek kissed Eileen on the cheeks and said. "I will. Bye Eileen."

The three of them left but they all felt that Derek seemed different, his eyes were giving it away.

* * *

_That's it for now.. I hope I didn't disappoint you.. All mistakes are mine.. sorry.. I tried to improve my writing.. and I have made it longer.. hehehehe.._

_Thank you for reading.. Please review.. So I'll know if I did ok in this story or if there is anything I can do to make the story better.._


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own anything... this is just for fun..

Sorry it took me a while before posting this.. I already what my ending is, but I need to fill the gaps between this and the end... This time.. it will more Karen POV.. Hope you will like it.. I think I'm gonna finish my story with 2-3 more chapters... it depends..

Thank you for t reading, the reviews, story alerts, and favorites... I really appreciate it..

Hope you will like this chapter..

* * *

**Chapter 4**

More than a week has passed when Derek left. Everyone ran through their normal routines going to rehearsals, to the hotel, and into bars to relax until their last night's show. It was the third preview of 'Bombshell', everything went smoothly.

Eileen, Tom and Julia were really proud to the cast and crew of 'Bombshell.' Every people who have watched the show have been praising the staging, the entire cast, the composer, the writer, the producer and the director. A lot of big names that came from NY went to Boston just to catch a glimpse of the show, even Jerry was there, yet again. Some of them have talked to Eileen, Tom, Julia and to their stars, Karen and Michael. Some were asking where the director was and Eileen has managed to make up an excuse for Derek's absence. Even the cast and crew were starting to ask the whereabouts of the director. Eileen just said that he would be back soon.

Hearing positive feedbacks on the show, everyone got a good feeling that going to Broadway with Marilyn was within reach. Showing previews would end this month, and then they could prepare for the bigger stage if there would be no setbacks in the show or with the people in it.

* * *

As a new day starts…

Karen woke from her dream. Her dream was about someone she just couldn't stop thinking of. Derek Wills have visited her through her dream. It went back to her first preview as Marilyn. Realizing that, her dream was telling her that, she missed the tyrannical director that had keeping her motivated throughout her performances, she didn't feel pleased in her performance at the last preview but people kept praising her. She kept looking around the stage to find the face that given her the chance to come out of her own shadow but she know he wasn't there. She remembered the time, they first met and the times they were together. The time she sang "Beautiful," the times when she had to endure all the tiring practices for her callback until she became Marilyn. When they were outside rehearsals, he always smiled at her and they had talked to each other and she laughed every time his ego shows and turned on him to keep it in check that gave her his amused smile like the time she answered back to him when she was practicing 'Touch Me" with One Republic. As she remembered the times that they were together, except for the 'couch casting' moment but he already apologized on that one and she forgave him, those moments made her feel something different about Derek Wills and that feeling must be…

She was then interrupted by a text message on her phone. She rolled on the other side of her bed, and reached for her phone at the side table. She checked it and was surprised. It was Dev. Since the time they have argued, Dev had left Karen alone, until now. Karen thought, _"Great timing! I have a lot of things that I have been thinking and now Dev. He have probably gave me space to think about what happened between us but he's wrong, I had almost forgotten about him or was I just avoiding it? My mind had been focusing on rehearsals, my friends and our missing director. I don't want to remember the pain Dev gave me. I had loved him but he just wasted it. We had started fighting since I joined 'Bombshell,' was Rebecca right about Dev and me? Maybe she was right, our relationship will eventually crumble down and it just did. Did I truly love Dev or did he truly love me? We will never come back the way we were happy with each other.' She paused for a while. And added. 'Did I really understand love or was I wrong to tell myself that I did?_"

She tried to argue with herself if she should read the message or not and decided she needed to, to push away everything that happened to them. She read.

_FROM DEV: Karen, we need to talk. Please. Meet me at lunch in the restaurant in front of your hotel. I'll be waiting._

She sighed after reading Dev's message. She should go, to find closure for both of them. She knew that she needed to do this to be able to know the reason she keeps feeling about someone that keeps thinking about. She doesn't know why, she just couldn't forget what she felt when Derek said to her "I do understand love." She wanted to feel his presence again. She wanted to get comfort from Derek the way he did when her life came crashing down on her during that preview. She also want to give comfort to him as she saw the anguished look the last time they were in the elevator. She asked herself, "_What happened to you Derek? That was the first time I saw him really troubled about something and he tried to hide it with a straight face but his eyes gave it away. He was always strong in front of everyone. Everyone had hated him because of his strong personality and how he treated us but I know that was his way to push us to our limits. I wish everyone will see the good side of him, that I was able to see. Then everyone will see how great he truly is."_

Karen didn't know what came over her. She wanted everyone to see what she had seen on Derek. She tried to divert her thoughts to anything other than Derek. "Not again. Everytime I think about Dev it always went to Derek. Stop it Karen." She said it to herself. She stopped pondering about Derek, and didn't realize she had been lying on bed for a long time and it was almost lunch time.

Karen quickly stood up from the bed and got her clothes and towel, then went straight to the bathroom. She only showered for about 10 minutes, and went in front of the mirror to fixed herself and said to her reflection, "Ok, I can do this. I'm tougher now. I can face Dev without giving him the satisfaction that I was really hurt." She took a deep breath and with the confidence she put herself on; she got out the room and went to the restaurant to meet Dev.

* * *

As Karen went inside the restaurant, she immediately tried to find Dev. Dev stood from his seat and waved at Karen to see where their table was. They were seated to the farthest corner of the restaurant that gave more privacy for them to talk.

Dev stood straight and greeted her."Karen." He paused and cleared his throat. "Ahmm. congratulations to your show." He tried to kiss Karen on her cheeks but she pulled away before his lips touch her. Dev dismissed it quickly and took his seat, Karen doing the same while she said "Thank you." They were quiet for a while and didn't look at each other.

Dev first broke the awkward silence and with his British accent he said, "We should get our orders. What would you like to eat?" He waved to a waitress and waited for Karen to respond.

Karen could see that Dev was trying his best not to show that he was nervous and she answered, "I'll take a salad."

The waitress took their orders and drifted away from the pair. They waited for their food and started to eat without saying anything else. When they were done, Karen spoke first this time. "So, why did you want to meet? There's nothing to talk about."

"You know, there is." Dev stared at her.

"Ok, so talk." Karen answered back and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Karen, I'm really sorry for what happened between us. I really didn't mean to do hurt you." Dev leaned forward towards Karen, to let her know that he really meant it.

"But you HURT me, Dev." She tried not to tremble while she said it and tried not to let her tears fall.

"Yes, I hurt you. I'm really sorry. I know it will be hard for you to forgive me." He stared intently to Karen, he was really sorry. She could see the pain and anger in his eyes. He was not mad at her, but he was mad at himself.

"It will take me a really long time to forgive you, Dev. There is nothing left for us. So what else do you want to get from me?" She said and tried to keep her composure in front of him and she uncrossed her arms.

"I want nothing but forgiveness, Karen. I'll wait that long until we became friends again. Now I know that here is really your place. That arrogant director let me realized that. You really love being on theater and being able to sing. This is your life. I respect what you want, and I know that you already realize that this is not my place. If this didn't happen, you might get miserable with me. Sorry again, Karen." Dev held Karen's hands with his, and she didn't flinch away.

"Well Dev, we both had our faults in this relationship. Sorry too, but I still need time to forgive you." She answered and didn't pull away from Dev.

"It's alright. I know I became a big jerk and you don't need to feel sorry. You tried to fix our relationship. I'm the one who failed." He gave a gentle pressure to her hands to reassured that it's not her fault.

"Well Dev, I don't know what else to say but thanks. I hope we can find someone who will be right for us." This time as she said it, she looked at him.

"About that, I thought about a lot of things this past few days, I want to be honest with you Karen, this maybe for your own good. I really got jealous with your director." Dev gave a small chuckle; trying to ease the despair they are both feeling.

"Dev, you know that there has never been anything between Derek and I." She was shocked at what he said, but she didn't get mad at him because she saw the there was no malice at his statement.

"I know that, because you stayed faithful with me but you always talk about him. Every time you talk about your show, you always mention him. I see something in your eyes when you say really bad things about him, you say you hate him but your eyes tell me something different. You are trying to deny it, but there is really something between you two. The way I see it, since your preview, he tried to protect you and he is the one who was there for you, so there's no denying it that he cares about you, Karen. I'm a guy and British, I know if something is up with a fellow British. If ever you two got together, I'll be happy to both of you. If he hurts you, I'll punch him again in his face." He gave Karen him a crooked smile.

"Dev, it may never happen. You know his reputation." Karen didn't know why she said that, it's like she's admitting to Dev that she wanted something between Derek and her.

"The first time I met him, he was not really the guy you wanted your boyfriend to meet but last time I saw him, I think something changed. You might be the reason. I know you really like him despite his reputation, and don't deny it. Just remember that I'm here to watch out for you, so Derek must be careful with you." Dev gave his warmest smile to ease Karen's discomfort.

Karen sighed. She never thought that this meeting will turned out this way but she was surprised with Dev's revelation about her. She had never realized that she acted that way in front of Dev and it's all about Derek, yet again.

Both of them fell silent, and as Karen took a time longer to understand what Dev said, she realized that maybe he was really telling the truth. She was very focus on Dev and their relationship and didn't bother what she really felt about Derek. There were moments that she was happy with Derek's company and she had known Derek on quite a while now, and he was not really a bad guy. He just loves what he does, and he does whatever it takes to be successful. Yes, Dev was right, Derek change a lot from the first time she met him in his own apartment. She won't know anything what will happen between Derek and her, until he comes back. She thought, _"He isn't an ideal guy but he grows in you when you see his softer side. I'm not yet sure of how to handle this, I don't really know what I feel him."_

Dev spoke again. "Karen, just be yourself and everything will be fine."

Karen answered, "Thanks, Dev."

After everything had been said, Karen and Dev told farewell to each other with a friendly hug and went to their separate ways.

As Karen went back to her hotel room, she had told herself, "_I'm glad I did this. Now, I feel much better. I still need time to forgive Dev, but I know in the future we can be friends again but with Derek I'm not sure."_

* * *

As usual.. Sorry for my mistakes.. hehehe.. :) Am I improving? Thank you again for reading..

Hope you like it.. Please do review... I will really appreciate it..


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